The Wise Man's Call

Title reference: "The Wise Man's Fear" by Patrick Rothfuss

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Do you see the funny looking fella in the photo above? You do? Good, cos' that's what Tate looked like the whole of yesterday morning and most of the afternoon as well. He sat on the couch, bare feet on the coffee table (which SO goes on the list of things Tate is forbidden to do, when we move in together!), flipping the channels of the TV over and over again (what is so tough about picking a cartoon to watch... I have no idea!) and throwing popcorn at himself, trying to catch them with his mouth (again, a total failure). I think that at one point I was actually contemplating murder, but managed to subdue the urge on time. Almost. I might have thrown an empty ketchup bottle at Tate's head, but hey... 1) he doesn't really use it and 2) it's too thick anyway. So don't judge, OK?

Back on topic, at the end Tate settled on re-runs of "Dexter's Laboratory" ("Hey, Marl", he calls me. "Come watch Dexter, dude!" And I think "O, great... serial killer show!" But, as "Little Britain" 's one and only Carol Beer would say: "Computer says no!"), which must have lasted for almost 2 hours... By the time the kiddies' program was done, I felt like my IQ has dropped with 100 points. And, yes, I'm aware of what I just wrote!

Still, the day's misfortunes did not end with that. Just when I thought that nothing else could happen, Tate's phone started ringing (Surprisingly to the ring-tone of Ryan Adams' song "Come Pick Me Up") and he picked up... Only to hear his big bro's voice on the other end of the receiver! Now, let me explain...

His brother Doug (yes, they all have 4-letter names. Easy to remember) is a manager in a large company, regularly hosting or attending a conference call... meeting or whatever! Yes, he is the golden child of the family. So, he wants to "inspire" Tate to follow in his steps... And he thought the best way to do it is to put him in on a conference call, explaining to him the basic tips on hosting one beforehand.

Naturally, Tate put him on "Speaker", so I got to listen in on the whole thing...

So, before the call you should book the conference room and a dial in number. Check. Tate, pay attention! Double check them before the call. OK. Make sure you send the agenda in advance. It has to contain the specific points of discussion during the call. Got it!   In case you are hosting the call dial in at least five minutes before its start. It is a must to never keep call attendants waiting...

And Tate went to get more peanuts. Or to the John. A great executive he will be, o yeah! And Santa's real! 

Doug waited. I waited. Tate came back and his brother jumped in from right where he left off... During the call you should greet each of the participants and introduce yourself. Before the start of discussion, make a roll and see the present and missing partcipants. Follow the agenda list during discussion. Take notes for each of the agenda items...

Switch the TV off, Tate! Yes, now. No, you can't wait for Scooby Doo to finish!

...and stick to the published points of discussion. The call should end positively.

After the call you should publish minutes of the meeting, which have to include attendees, takeaways, issues discussed, etc. Send the meeting’s brief on the same day, because people tend to forget the topics discussed during a session. Do not forget to check all topics have been covered. 

Great, that didn't sound so hard now, did it! Tate? Tate?! What do you mean you already forgot the first part?! It's simple... O, forget it! 

No, not you, Doug!

Man, I'm so happy I'm not a member of that family! Film them, and you'd have a cartoon of your own! And it will be legen..

Yes, Tate, you could say! 

"Legendary!"