Title reference: "The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart" by Jesse Bullington
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See "Bigfoot" on the picture above? (figuratively speaking, of course!) Wanda' what he's looking at so grimly... Wanna' hear my guess? Well, I think he's looking for a job, just like I was a couple of days ago! From Tate's point of view, I must have appeared almost exactly the same. Staring at the monitor. Thinking deeply and seriously. Looking as though any moment now, I might fall asleep... O, wait! I shouldn't have said that last bit! Still, I did better, then when Tate tried searching for a job... He literally fell asleep and didn't wake up for hours! We're still trying to figure out what caused that...
Anyway, back on topic. No more jokes. There's nothing funny about the credit crunch. Many Londoners (myself included) will be taking this year's holiday in such spellbinding destinations as Wetford, Kent and the Cotswolds rather than sunny Spain or the Amalfi Coast. Not a pleasant thought, but here's something to cheer you up and help you see the brighter side of things! Remember the last fat-cat city banker, that refused to give you a loan to send the kiddo to University? Well, he's probably gone from splashing money on maids and... I don't know... oven cleaning London companies, let's say, to DIY house cleaning in less than a year! If he'd been really unlucky, he might have even become one of the flat cleaning London professionals, he so easily hired and fired not that long ago, himself! Talk about justice in the universe!
Still, it kind of gives you a nice feeling inside, knowing that all of those "big shots" have fallen off their "thrones"... And are now forced to be house-cleaners, who can't even clean their own homes! Wanna' guess the 3 places they most regularly forget to clean?
I'd start!
1. The bottom of the wardrobe. Having no jobs, and thus, no cause for digging through the Savile Row suits and designer dresses lining their closets, unemployed city workers have notoriously dirty clothes wardrobes. Many report numerous skeletons in these closets getting in the way of their best cleaning efforts: the products of sub-prime lending and too many Dubai deals gone wrong.
2. The refrigerator. Having no money to buy food, the fridges of former city-workers are looking very empty these days. I bet that when they open them and smell the fading scent of French cheese, caviar and a cream soup with Swedish mushrooms, their appetite simple disperses into thin air, followed by a long and depressing night of cheap wine and a trip down "six-figure-pay-check" memory lane!
3. Under the settee cushions. If I have to bet, I'd say that this is probably the cleanest place in ever ex-banker's house! Settees have usually been searched nine, ten, eleven times, hoping to scrounge up enough five-penny pieces for the price of a pint. And, unfortunately, what is found beneath them in most cases is not enough to even buy the poor city boy a decent pine of Guinness in the pub! O, hard is the life of the ex-millionaire...
But for good ol' university boys like myself or Tate, the rich guys' misery is almost a cause for celebration!
Petty, who me?
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