The Gaslight Cleaner

Title reference: "The Gaslight Dogs" by Karin Lowachee

***

"Hey, Pete", Tate said happily, as Sofocle the o-so-not-trained puppy jumped around at his feet. "Wanna' try to teach lil' pup here a trick, cos' I'm miserably failing!"

I scowled at him, before asking in a tone, that clearly showed my irritation with him:

"Hey, Tate, here's a tough one for you: What should you know before you teach your puppy a new trick?"

"Um... I dunno'..."

"You should know more than your puppy!"

He just blinked at me. Point proven. I sighed and looked at the little troublemaker, who was waving his tail at me, jumping happily, and giving me a very, very dull look. They say that dog-owners look like their dogs, right? Well, apparently the same thing goes for the dos as well! Tate's... "brilliantness", if you would call it that, was rubbing off on Sofocle big time! Add mama Lulu to the mix and her Hot-but-dull-to-the-core-of-her-cleaner's-being friend, and you have an exasperating combination! O, poor me!

Still, truthfully speaking, having a puppy is wonderful. The mess it makes around the house is not! Remember the famous video for Queen's "I Want to Break Free" song? Well, unless someone in the household is ready to play Freddie's role, then you're in real trouble! And I'd be damned, before I put on a pink apron! Still, unfortunately, when you take a puppy, you're in for at least 3 months of cleaning pee and poo off the floor, carpets and, occasionally, even the walls. Walk the dog, change the litter or sweep out the hamster cage, but if animal stains are a part of your house cleaning routine, then you'll need to do some adjusting... And probably getting used to the idea, that at one point or another you'll need an army of the professional cleaners London has to offer! 

Anyway, back on topic (err... sort of)... For the last couple of days I've been trying to convince Tate that speciality pet stores will stock puppy-pads for small dogs and other household pets. Those cost about 10p each and will last at least a day or two, depending on the size of your pet. Training is essential for these to work (and I still think that Tate needs more training then Sofocle does!), but if you can get your puppy into the habit of using the pet pads, it will save you a lot of time and your beds, carpets, cushions and furniture a serious mess.

Still, with a puppy like Sofocle who tends to make unexpected messes all over the place (carpets, walls and, as soon as he figures out a way to defy gravity, ceilings), a more serious approach is needed. Speciality stain removal products are needed. Pet centres and specialty cleaning websites stock cleaning products specifically designed for dealing with pet mess. (Yeah, what can't you find on the Internet these days? No, seriously?!) If you are lucky enough to have your animal do its business on the bathroom or kitchen tiles, house cleaning bleach will do. (Um... we've got none, of course!) If animal stains end up on your carpets or furniture, invest in a specialty cleaning solution. If an accident happens and you aren't prepared, white vinegar diluted with water is great for urine stains. (And the fact that I know that is simply sad... Pete needs to get out more!) It helps to break down the stain and will make it easier to scrub out any discolouration that is left over from your pet. For animal poo stains, remove any solids first and use a cotton wall bud to swab away excess soiling. 

Got it? "Cotton wall bud", "swab", "excess soiling"... I honestly admit that I read that last part on the Internet! If someone would be willing to give me a hint what in the world it means... I'd be really happy! Especially having in mind that Sofocle just ran off into the bedroom...

Tate, get the damn dog out of there!

Geez!

Anyone else thinking about "The Happiest Song in the World" by Bald Travolta right now? You are?! Good, cos' so am I... So am I...