Garbage Misdemeanors

Title Reference: “Divine Misdemeanors” by Laurell K. Hamilton

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So I decided to change my residence, a.k.a. “Fort Marlowe”, for a bigger, better and brighter place that I'm still wondering if I'd be able to afford... So I'm keeping a big cardboard box and calling it “Fort Looser”, just in case! I mean, if I am to be kicked out of my new apartment in a couple of months, at least I'd go with a bang! Anyway, packing all of my lively possessions and moving out has proved to be a long and painful process, especially having in mind that my soon-to-be-ex-landlord wants me to leave the apartment as neat and clean as I found it. So, that means the spot on the ceiling has to go. And the dirt under the carper, table, sofa, bed... Man, that's a lot of dirt! I wonder how I've never noticed before...

Anyway, my friend Tate gave the brilliant idea to call an after builders cleaning company, as London has a lot of those! We started looking into it, over a beer and some Chinese, but were left feeling really frustrated by the discovery that finding a proper cleaning company may be tougher than it sounds.

Wanna' know why? I'd tell you anyway!

Frauds, man. Reading the Internet and some dude... Alfred... something's articles, we realized that “doing your homework”, so to speak, is essential to not getting cheated! Can you imagine that some companies would do everything from credit card fraud and property theft, to serious damage that would cost more money to repair, then I make in a month?! What kind of a world do we live in?! I know that “there's no honour among thieves” and we're all thieves in one way or another, but still... Cleaning frauds?! I still can't wrap my mind around it!

The most ridiculous advert that Tate found was about a company, taking only ₤8 to clean a room in your house! “Great”, I thought... Before we took a magnifying glass and red the small letters under the advert. You know what they said? (And I quote...):

Discount is only available to long-term customers, who'd used our company's services for at least 13 months.

Now, can you see this text? No! Great, cos' barely could I!

Another big disappointment was the rubbish removal company I called... They were supposed to come on Monday, but now it's Friday and they've already rescheduled 3 times... I mean, OK, I do realise that they have work and all, but come on... What happened to the whole “Customer's always right” thing and saying? I may have a couple more weeks, before I ave to be out of my current home, and I've already painted the cardboard box, but I was secretly hoping I wouldn't have to get acquainted with it's cold comforts and caress. O, that came out poetic! Been hanging too much around Tate, I guess!

Bottom line is, I'd have to do a lot more research before I find proper garbage removal and after builders cleaning companies, then I'd expected! It my not be the most exciting thing to do, but believe me...

Better be safe, then sorry!