The Last Clean

Title reference: "The Last Page" by Anthony Huso

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We've had a little disaster on our hands! Last night, Sofocle, our puppy husky, managed to tear down a curtain, spill a whole bottle of wine on the carpet and turn over a chair, although where that little doggy found the strength to do so is still beyond me! Pets, man, they're as unpredictable as humans! Still, as wine spills tend to stain and are some of the hardest to get out... The situation pretty much turned into an emergency! You don't believe? Well, I can tell you right now that the old myth that you can clean red wine stain with white wine, is nothing more than that: a myth. If you try to put it into use, the only thing you would get is a red/white wine stain and getting rid of that one would not only take skills beyond you, but also damage your carpet/furniture/whatever permanently! So, instead of playing "Mr. Cleaner", or which would be worse - letting Tate assume the role! - I did the smart thing and booked an appointment with one of the prime companies for carpet cleaning London has to offer! They'd come later today and fix the problem for us... Yeah, let's hear it for professionals!

Still, even if the carpet cleaning mess is taken care of, there's still the fact that Sofocle is like a natural disaster, waiting to be unleashed upon us and cause as much damages as possible! He breaks things faster than you could say "Hallelujah", chews on everyone's shoes and slippers, howls at night, when you leave him alone... I mean, he's a lovely creature and all, but, man, is he hard to have around sometimes! I've been trying to explain to Tate that huskies are not "in door" animals, but ones that should  be left to freely play around in a yard, but he doesn't seem to get it! Not at all! Actually, he's convinced that Sofocle is the cutest thing in the world and thus can make no wrong in his eyes...

Speaking of Tate...

OK, you probably won't believe me when I tell you this, I could hardly believe it myself, but my o-not-so-smart-buddy pulled a stunt and a shocker on all of us and... Well, on the 2nd of January, when we finally managed to sober up after the New Year's party, Tate did the unthinkable and... Man, I can't believe I'm going to write that! Anyway, here goes nothing!

Tate proposed to Lulu. Yes, you read that right. He did the whole nine yards: falling on one knee, the diamond ring, music, candles... All of it! Now, I strongly suspect that it was his mum who did most of the preparations (she's obsessive like that), but Tate refuses to comment on the matter and even a tickle would not convince him to speak the truth! Which is almost anticlimactic...

But forget about that. Strange or not, it is official people: Tate's getting married! I mean, yeah, they haven't known each-other very long or anything, but come on... Can you picture either of those... charmers, let's call them, finding anyone better than the other? No? Well, so can't I! So I wish them all the happiness in the world...

O, and I'm gonna' be the best-man. Yeah, big surprise here, I know, I know!

And now to the truly shocking part... Something unthinkable happened on New Year's Eve and I'm still not sure how things came to that, and so on, but... Well, you know What-'s-Her-Name-Again, right? Well, it turns out that it's Evelyn (quite lovely, isn't it?) and that, in ways unthinkable to me, she's managed to pull the impossible and, boring or not, get under my skin. I know, I know: when? Why? How? All questions I've been asking myself, dear friends, but the truth is the truth... Even if it's ridiculous!

Did I mention that we kissed? But, I mean, really, really kissed, passionate and all? No? Well, yes, we indeed did, and it was weird, and kind of scary, and... Nice. Yes, it felt nice and somewhat natural. So now I think we're dating...

Though Evie says we've been doing it ever since that first night, even if I didn't realise it!

Women, man. Can't live with them, but also can't live without them! Ah, how poetic Marlowe, how poetic! Anyway, I think that Tate and Lulu are even more exciting about the dating part, then Me and Evelyn are... They want to do double date, all the time! And we're best-man and bride's maid, so...

Yes, that should be some wedding!

Bottom line is, life's moving forward, as a scary pace, and we all have to try and keep up with it. So, that would be the last of me and all my "Stumbling & Rambling"... "All good things" come to an end, right?

So, goodnight, people... and thank you! As one great singer once said...

"You've been a lovely audience."

Out of the Holidays

Title reference: "Out of the Dark" by David Weber

***

Happy New Year, to everyone who may stumble upon this blog or who, for reasons unknown to me, has decided to follow it regularly! (If you're the latter, I'm forever grateful! Tate as well... And he'd say so, if I could dig him out from under the debris of paper cups, plates, food left-overs, forgotten clothes, broken... O, forget it! We've got a mess on our hands, OK?) I'm proud to inform you that our New Year's party was a total success and if we'd invited... I dunno... Lily Allen, or something, we'd have definitely made the news! Or, at least, some second class newspaper... I mean, being in the news is being the news, right? Still, we pulled it off so well, that even when Tate played ABBA's "Happy New Year" no body seemed to mind... Well, I would have, if I wasn't already too out of it to care... Ooh... my head hurts...

Anyway, as I've already pointed out, but will do again just for repetition's sake, no matter how cool a party is, the domestic cleaning which follows is always hell! And how is it fare, if I may ask, that some come, consume and then go, while others are left behind to take care of the mess? Shouldn't there be a law against "abandoning the ship", before it's cleaned and put back in order, or something? I think it's high time the authorities take care of the matter... Ah, forget it!

It's always the same deal, people. Those who offer to host the party, have to deal with the party-leftovers later! The whole "chicken and egg" thing! Ah, Tate turn ABBA off! My head still hurts!

Back on topic, after a particularly vicious headache on the 1st of January, that makes the one tormenting me now seem like a free vacation on the Bahamas, I gathered Tate, Lulu and What-Was-Her-Name-Again and had them roll up their sleeves and get to work, as we really, really needed to put the house in some semblance of an order, before our landlord stopped by to wish us a "Happy New Year"! O, if he only knew what Sofocle (our dog) had done to his curtains... Umm, I didn't say that! I-so-did-not! But if we pretend that I did (for only a second, that is!) I'd have to say that the main reason for me wanting to clean the house so fast was the nagging feeling of guilt over the curtains, nesting in my gut! So we scrubbed, and washed, and rubbed, and... Well, hoovered, or whatever, until we almost passed out of exhaustion, and still there was so much to do...

So much, that even Miss I-Know-All-There-Is-About-Cleaning suggested we took pity on ourselves and called a house cleaning company to come and deal with the mess for us. I mean, they are professionals and would know how to deal with the problems at bay much faster and better then me or Tate, right?

Still, do you know what I found out, when I started calling companies just after the holidays? That, apparently, most of London relies on their services, after all the partying's done and over! They were booked, almost all of them! And it's not like there's just one home cleaning company London has to offer... There's a lot of them! So, either English folk are the laziest ones in the world...

...or our cleaning services are just that good, right? Right?

Tate, for the last time, off with ABBA!